What's the scariest movie ever? Hmmm... good question.
I remember when I was about six or seven years old, I saw a movie called Frogs (1972). That was really scary. No, seriously. Okay... it seemed scary at the time. I just looked it up on IMDB, and the cover shows an oversized frog with a human hand (dead, I assume) sticking out of its mouth. And get this, here's the official tagline (I kid you not): "Cold green skin against soft warm flesh... a croak... a scream! FROGS." If I remember correctly, there is one survivor who escapes all the murderous frogs and hitches a ride out of the danger zone with a family that happens to be passing through on vacation. The survivor thanks them for the ride and climbs into the back seat, next to a small child who happens to be holding a turtle on his lap. The turtle slowly turns its head and glares menacingly at our survivor... and the credits roll. It's scary all right, but not in the horrified I-think-I'm-going-to-die way. Just scary bad.
A few years later, I was sleeping over at a friend's house and Prophecy (1979) came on cable. At home, I wasn't allowed to watch R-rated movies, but my parents weren't there, I thought, so what the heck. It's about some logging company that's pumping toxic waste into the environment (mercury, I think) and inadvertently creates this giant killer bear-monster. I still remember a scene where the creature drags campers from their tents and tears them apart. I had nightmares for weeks. Maybe a nomination for scariest movie ever? Well, no--unfortunately it's much scarier in my memory than it was in reality. I happened to see part of it again recently, and the creature looks like a five dollar Halloween costume you could buy at Walgreens. So nix Prophecy.
One night when I was in college, a couple of friends suggested we watch The Exorcist (1973). I had never seen it. Now that movie is freaky, especially if you happen to believe things like that can happen--which I did at the time. It was a dark, stormy night--the perfect time to watch a movie about demonic possession if you want to get really scared--and just as we finished the movie, the power went out in the entire dorm. I'm telling you, it was creepy. And several years ago, when they released a re-edited version of the film, it got even creepier. They added some footage of Regan crawling down the stairs backwards, like a spider--really great footage. It turns out they didn't include it in the original because they thought it was too creepy. So The Exorcist has got to be right up there with the scariest movies of all time. But it's not the scariest. Not quite. There's one that beats it.
Have you ever heard of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)? When one of my roommates brought this movie home one day, we gave him a pretty hard time. What a stupid title, we joked. They couldn't come up with a better name for a serial killer? Henry? C'mon. And then we watched it. As it turns out, that was the whole point. This was just some dude. Just a normal-looking guy like you and me. Except something is not right in his head, and he kills people. Guys like that are actually out there, walking amongst the rest of us. Guys no one would suspect. They work in the same office buildings we do. They live in the apartment next door. They date our sisters. Now that's scary. Scariest movie ever.
I remember when I was about six or seven years old, I saw a movie called Frogs (1972). That was really scary. No, seriously. Okay... it seemed scary at the time. I just looked it up on IMDB, and the cover shows an oversized frog with a human hand (dead, I assume) sticking out of its mouth. And get this, here's the official tagline (I kid you not): "Cold green skin against soft warm flesh... a croak... a scream! FROGS." If I remember correctly, there is one survivor who escapes all the murderous frogs and hitches a ride out of the danger zone with a family that happens to be passing through on vacation. The survivor thanks them for the ride and climbs into the back seat, next to a small child who happens to be holding a turtle on his lap. The turtle slowly turns its head and glares menacingly at our survivor... and the credits roll. It's scary all right, but not in the horrified I-think-I'm-going-to-die way. Just scary bad.
A few years later, I was sleeping over at a friend's house and Prophecy (1979) came on cable. At home, I wasn't allowed to watch R-rated movies, but my parents weren't there, I thought, so what the heck. It's about some logging company that's pumping toxic waste into the environment (mercury, I think) and inadvertently creates this giant killer bear-monster. I still remember a scene where the creature drags campers from their tents and tears them apart. I had nightmares for weeks. Maybe a nomination for scariest movie ever? Well, no--unfortunately it's much scarier in my memory than it was in reality. I happened to see part of it again recently, and the creature looks like a five dollar Halloween costume you could buy at Walgreens. So nix Prophecy.
One night when I was in college, a couple of friends suggested we watch The Exorcist (1973). I had never seen it. Now that movie is freaky, especially if you happen to believe things like that can happen--which I did at the time. It was a dark, stormy night--the perfect time to watch a movie about demonic possession if you want to get really scared--and just as we finished the movie, the power went out in the entire dorm. I'm telling you, it was creepy. And several years ago, when they released a re-edited version of the film, it got even creepier. They added some footage of Regan crawling down the stairs backwards, like a spider--really great footage. It turns out they didn't include it in the original because they thought it was too creepy. So The Exorcist has got to be right up there with the scariest movies of all time. But it's not the scariest. Not quite. There's one that beats it.
Have you ever heard of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)? When one of my roommates brought this movie home one day, we gave him a pretty hard time. What a stupid title, we joked. They couldn't come up with a better name for a serial killer? Henry? C'mon. And then we watched it. As it turns out, that was the whole point. This was just some dude. Just a normal-looking guy like you and me. Except something is not right in his head, and he kills people. Guys like that are actually out there, walking amongst the rest of us. Guys no one would suspect. They work in the same office buildings we do. They live in the apartment next door. They date our sisters. Now that's scary. Scariest movie ever.
About the Author
Baudelaire Jones is the author of Dialogues of the Dead. For further reading, he recommends movie trivia and fear quotes.
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